Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I lost the right to judge tonight
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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