She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
