I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
