When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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