Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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