Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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