all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
