you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
