She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
