I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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