so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
