i just wanna soil my oats bro
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
