And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
