U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
