no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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