I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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