you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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