we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize