Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just had sex on a roof
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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