...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
