69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
