Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
