We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
