You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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