we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
