I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
