i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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