Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
