Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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