if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
