You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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