ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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