Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
