Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
