It's like God shit irony all over that family
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
