where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It was confusing and full of hummus
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
