You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
