Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
