some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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