She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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