Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
