I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize