We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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