On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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