my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
