fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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