Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
