an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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