dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I need a beard to bite.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
