so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
