even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
