pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize