I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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