um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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