No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
