My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
