the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I think your dad took our porno
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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