I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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