At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
