is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
